Life of Riley

Fucking hilarious defense of Comic Sans, the font I adored in 6th grade and used for my emu poster and project. 

“People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.”

“Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.”

So, if you follow a new law that actually allows sex education, you will be charged for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. PLUS: “Southworth’s letter said law would convert sex education classes ”into a radical program that sexualizes our children as early as kindergarten. This, in turn, will lead to more child sexual assaults.”

Some choice excerpts:

No on 1033:

“First: Fuck Tim Eyman. 
….
And, one more time: Fuck Tim Eyman.”

Yes on 71: [please please please]

“And if you thought Tim Eyman was fucked, the guys behind Referendum 71 are gaping assholes. … The two lied every step of the way to get this on the ballot, claiming in television ads and on the petition that the measure was the same as gay marriage and that “public schools K–12 will be forced to teach that same-sex marriage and homosexuality are normal.” None of that’s true.”

And my favorite, Dow Constantine for King County Exec:

“Dow Constantine’s opponent, Susan Hutchison, is a political lightweight, a partisan extremist, a shitty fit for the most liberal county in the state, and a blow-dried, brain-dead, lying, hypocritical, and cowardly piece of shit. Oh, and she’s a closet Republican, too”